The following excerpt is from pages 258-260 of Summer in the Waiting Room: Faith • Hope • Love

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But the greatest of these is love. ~ Saint Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians 13:13

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My spiritual journey has been amazing! Every day, I travel to intellectual and mystical places that help me understand the power of God, the Creator, or whatever one believes to be a higher power. I understand a little more about the ways of the universe and better appreciate life in this world. With each step on the path, I uncover new revelations that become more profound as I meander along.

Saint Paul the Apostle has been a major influence on that spiritual journey. Faith and hope entered my consciousness in the first two parts of this book. The experience in the ICU strengthened my belief that accepting what we can’t control and managing what we can are the first steps toward finding inner peace. The third part explores where love fits in. Saint Paul wrote in the language of his era. The ancient Greek word he used for love is agape. The word is generally characterized as meaning the giving of oneself for the sake of others regardless of the circumstance. Throughout my spiritual journey, I’ve contemplated deeply on the existence of agape. Is it even possible? Can human beings truly give of themselves without conditions? I believe so, and I believe that Sandra is a perfect example of that kind of love.

Love means different things to different people. Some people believe that love is necessary for life. Others associate it with giving to others and practicing unselfish acts. The word is often used when describing someone’s fondness for a sports team, food, a book, a movie, music, etc. British author and Christian philosopher C.S. Lewis tried to make sense of it all in a groundbreaking book he published in 1960. In The Four Loves, Lewis sheds light on these concepts and describes four categories of love: storge (affection), philia (friendship), eros (romance), and agape (God’s love).

Affection is the kind of love between parents and their children, siblings, and other blood relations. This is one of the strongest forms of love that most of us are blessed to experience. Since it’s bound together by bloodlines and relatives, Lewis believes that 90 percent of a person’s happiness is related to affection. For that same reason, suffering and pain caused by family friction is disproportionately intense. Friendship is driven by choice. Sharing things in common brings people together as friends. These commonalities and circumstances of meeting seem to happen by coincidence. But with God in control, nothing happens by chance. According to Lewis, “Friendship is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties in others.” Eros is tricky. Anyone who has been “in love” knows that to be true. When we think of romantic love, warm and fuzzy feelings of happiness, butterflies in the stomach, and hugs and smooches come to mind.

Agape is the most powerful form of love. This is the kind of love God has for humanity. There are no strings attached. For Christians, the Passion Story illustrates how love can change the world. God allowed Jesus to be tortured and humiliated on the road to his crucifixion. The Passion Story shines a light on God’s message about giving of oneself for the sake of others. Throughout the summer of 2010, Sandra demonstrated agape in all its glory. She slept on a cot by my bedside for over one hundred days to make sure she was available to make decisions to help the doctors care for me. Her unwavering commitment to my health continued for another ten years as my damaged heart grew weaker and eventually left us with more life-and-death decisions to make. It’s such a cliche to say that I live for Sandra and the girls. But it’s true. I give of myself and sacrifice much to continue the fight to stay healthy for them. The statement “For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part” is embedded deeply in our souls.

My health problems didn’t disappear when I walked through the front door of our house on September 21, 2010. The heart attack that led to the summer in the waiting room left me with a severe case of congestive heart failure, also known as CHF or heart failure. For eight years, I managed the disease with a strict diet, disciplined medication regimen, and regular exercise. My heart eventually reached the end of its usefulness. On November 6, 2018, doctors implanted a mechanical pump called a left ventricular assist device into my heart. On April 16, 2020, a heart transplant gave me a new life. Transplants aren’t a cure. Other complications take the place of heart failure. In five short essays, Part 3 of this book tells the story of the decade after coming home on September 21, 2010.

I don’t know what obstacles lurk in the shadows of my new heart. Making difficult decisions about how to keep it healthy is my new reality. When clouds of uncertainty start gathering and force me to make hard choices, I turn to the lessons of my spiritual journey. No matter what happens, I know that love is the answer.

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On Thursday, November 9, 2023 from 6:00 to 7:00 pm, I will share more stories from my book at the Stanford Bookstore. Join me and my heart transplant surgeon for an evening of faith, hope, love, and signing books!

RSVP at this link: