The following excerpt is from pages 93-95 of Summer in the Waiting Room: Faith • Hope • Love

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We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. ~ Saint Paul’s Letter to the Romans 5:3–4

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In his Letter to the Romans, Saint Paul the Apostle wrote, “We rejoice in our sufferings.” Rejoice in our sufferings? Was Saint Paul kidding when he wrote that? Who in their right mind wants to rejoice in suffering? We all experience suffering. That’s just the way it is. Faith is acceptance of what is. It’s also the first step of understanding hope. 

Hope is a tricky word. We use hope as a synonym for want or wish. In fact, Webster’s dictionary defines hope as “a desire of some good.” I’ve always used it in that way. I hope my daughters are healthy, happy, and successful. I hope the Giants win the World Series this year. What I’m really saying is, “I want, I desire, I wish.” If those things don’t happen, disappointment is soon to follow.

Saint Paul has an entirely different definition. He gives a comforting perspective on hope. He tells us that having hope is understanding that whatever barrier life presents is going to work out according to God’s plan, not necessarily what we want. In his Second Letter to the Corinthians, Paul wrote that there’s a “sure hope of a glorious future” for those who have faith. Does that mean everything will always go our way? No, it doesn’t. It means that everything will go God’s way. That’s where hope comes in.

I’ve struggled to wrap my mind around that concept of hope. Early in our relationship, Sandra showed her deep understanding of faith and hope with a strip of paper she lovingly put into the palm of my hand. Just in her early twenties, she was already endowed with precocious good judgment. I was a few years older with a swagger in my step, a chip on my shoulder, and determination in my eyes. I was confident that ambition and hard work would secure a successful future.

On that slip of paper were fifteen words of wisdom: “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.” Sandra offered this wise advice as a tool to relieve the obsessive resolve that consumed me when someone or something posed a threat to my progress. She folded the ticket-size strip, placed it in my wallet, and encouraged me to reflect on it when anxiety reared its ugly head. I cherished that piece of paper because Sandra gave it to me. For years it stayed in my wallet while my reaction to challenges didn’t change. When Eddie, Miguel, and Pancho playfully tossed me into a swimming pool fully clothed one summer, the fragile document disintegrated in the water. Sandra’s gift was ever present in my mind, but the lessons never entered my consciousness. Until June 7, 2010.

Beginning that day, I embarked on a medical and spiritual journey of epic proportions. Inspired to research where the quote came from, I stumbled upon the writings of an American Christian evangelist named Charles Swindoll. He said those wise words on that slip of paper during a sermon on hope. It was his action-oriented response to Saint Paul’s assertion that “suffering produces endurance.” In other words, we shouldn’t surrender to suffering by giving up. We should carry on by building character and giving ourselves hope.

Saint Paul’s definition of hope and Swindoll’s guidance to persist positively in the face of hopelessness bring to mind the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism.

First Noble Truth ~ Suffering is a fact of life.

Second Noble Truth ~ Not getting what we want causes suffering.

Third Noble Truth ~ Removing the desire to get what we want can end suffering.

Fourth Noble Truth ~ Living a meaningful life will help us avoid desire.

I descended into hopelessness and uncertainty in the days and months after June 7. Beginning that day, the roller coaster that represented my life went screaming down into a deep ditch of despair. The suffering that followed made my character stronger and gave me the spirit to soldier on. I ultimately endured and rejoiced in my suffering. I discovered the importance of hope.

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On November 9, 2023 from 6:00 to 7:00 pm, I will share more stories from my book at the Stanford Bookstore. Join me and my heart transplant surgeon for an evening of faith, hope, love, and signing books!

RSVP at this link:

https://www.facebook.com/events/656597839920085?acontext=%7B%22event_action_history%22%3A%5B%7B%22mechanism%22%3A%22your_upcoming_events_unit%22%2C%22surface%22%3A%22bookmark%22%7D%5D%2C%22ref_notif_type%22%3Anull%7D

The following excerpt is from pages 115-117 of Summer in the Waiting Room: Faith • Hope • Love

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The surgeon walked into the waiting room to tell Sandra that the procedure was a success and that there were no complications. In his no-nonsense manner, he advised her that my heart was badly damaged, and it would be a rough road ahead. He described to those gathered in the cramped waiting room how cardiologists measure heart function to determine how much dam-
age resulted from a heart attack. They use a calculation called the “ejection fraction,” which is the percentage of oxygenated blood that is pumped from the lower-left chamber of the heart
into the bloodstream with each heartbeat. In a healthy heart, 55 to 65 percent of the blood in the lower-left chamber is released into the body with every thrust. The doctor explained that the ejection fraction of my heart after completion of the procedure measured less than 30 percent. I would never be the same, he added. I would have to dramatically alter my lifestyle.

The room remained silent. Shelley later said that she was in shock and that she couldn’t grasp what had happened. Pancho started weeping and saying, “This can’t be real.” Our godson William Medina sat down, put his face in his hands, and began to sob. The doctor concluded by saying that I would be in the intensive care unit (ICU) in recovery for a couple of hours, then assigned to a room in the cardiac care unit (CCU) where the family could visit. There was a sense of relief combined with apprehension in the waiting room. Even though everyone gathered in a circle to hold hands to pray and thank God for saving my life, hope was in
short supply.

Just before midnight, hospital personnel rolled the bed from the ICU to the CCU. I was groggy, but I remember seeing my family and friends lined along the wide hallway waiting to see me. Mr. and Mrs. Peralta, my boss, the Medinas, Miguel, and Pancho were the first to come into view. Things were moving in slow motion again. Everyone was blurry and out of focus. They looked concerned as they saw the gurney roll by. When I saw Sandra and the girls, I felt safe and comfortable. I knew that everything was going to be fine, even though I don’t remember the looks on their faces.

During that brief moment, Valerie and Miguel said that I stuck out my arm, pushed my hand against the wall to stop the gurney, and asked Marisa and Erica if they were all right. Others remembered it a little differently. According to those observations, it appeared as though I wanted to protect Marisa and Erica when I saw them. I presumably put on my game face and weakly waved to those pushing the bed, asking them to stop. I smiled at
the girls as if to say, “I’m OK.”

Regardless of how those few seconds unfolded, one thing is clear. I was in a state of semiconsciousness, yet my immense love for Sandra and the girls and my fatherly instincts kicked in to provide me with a relentless drive to fight for my life. Faced with the real prospect of death, the deepest parts of my soul knew that my family gave me the courage to live. In his Letter to the Romans, Saint Paul the Apostle tells us that the first step to living with hope is to “rejoice in our sufferings.” I didn’t realize it at the moment, but the suffering that I endured on June 7, 2010, marked the beginning of living a life full of hope.

***

On November 9, 2023 from 6:00 to 7:00 pm, I will share more stories from my book at the Stanford Bookstore. Join me and my heart transplant surgeon for an evening of faith, hope, love, and signing books!

RSVP at this link:

https://www.facebook.com/events/656597839920085?acontext=%7B%22event_action_history%22%3A%5B%7B%22mechanism%22%3A%22your_upcoming_events_unit%22%2C%22surface%22%3A%22bookmark%22%7D%5D%2C%22ref_notif_type%22%3Anull%7D